Defeat is not an option

Randy Clark has a sermon titled, "The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat." I tend to dislike this message because I am not content with living a lifestyle where defeat is normal. I understand why he preaches it though; many would become so disheartened by defeat that they would give up before ever tasting victory. Randy, like so many others, had prayed for the sick for years without seeing anyone get healed. They had to persevere through so much just to taste victory and experience the thrill of God healing someone through their prayers. Because of the groundwork that men and women like Randy, Bill Johnson, Heidi Baker and others have laid, we now get to experience breakthrough much more quickly.

One year after seeing my first healing, I have seen more people healed than I can count. At the beginning I wrote down each healing testimony, and although I still try to write them down it is difficult to keep track of everything God has done. However, I have seen more people walk away without healing than I have seen walk away praising God for healing them. Many of these defeats break my heart. I remember praying for a man with cerebral palsy back in February. I prayed so fervently and felt the Holy Spirit stronger than any other time I have prayed for someone yet nothing manifested that I could see.

Then of course there are friends of mine who are afflicted with disabilities. These are illegal! I have contended for their breakthrough but to no avail, both still are confined to their wheelchairs. I can't leave out that I prayed for one of them that the doctors would not have to put rods in her back because she was healed and while the doctors changed their minds and didn't put any rods in her back, she still isn't healed. But praise God, no new rods!

This past weekend I met a guy two years younger than me with a disabillity. Most people with his condition die at a very young age. Counting the whole weekend, I spent around 10 hours praying for him before he left town. He is an amazing young man whose freedom is being robbed by the enemy. Seeing him leave in the same condition as the first time I saw him crushed me. That evening I spent at least another hour praying for another man whose freedom and health is also being robbed by the enemy after I had already spent over an hour praying for him the day before. Still nothing.

Today I was called up to go to the hospital to pray for a man who was dying with two people from church who knew him. I felt the Holy Spirit flowing into him as I prayed. Heat was all over his chest as my hands were on him. Several times I felt the power of God rush through my hands and into his body. A few minutes after I stepped away from him he went to be with Jesus. After giving the family a few minutes to mourn I knelt down to quietly pray for him to be raised from the dead. After a few minutes, one of the people I was with tapped me on the shoulder to motion for us to leave. I am now 0 for 2 in seeing both the dying healed and the dead raised.

Tomorrow I should be meeting with a man who is paralyzed that I prayed for last week at the hospital for about an hour. Nothing happened last time but he is going to walk. I am not giving up and I am not giving in. God is good all the time. By His stripes we are healed. I will lay hands on the sick and they will recover. It is impossible to pray and have nothing happen. Jesus commanded us to heal the sick and to raise the dead. Nothing is impossible with God. Defeat is not an option.

Holy!

Just two hours after I wrote my blog yesterday I was encountering God in a way that hasn't really happened in a while. It didn't hurt that the night before I had just heard Heidi Baker repeat "Holy, Holy, Holy" over and over again. It also didn't hurt that the worship leader was singing, "You are Holy, oh so Holy, you are Holy, Lord". God is so holy. I have messed up so much, yet He welcomes me into His arms as though I have never done anything wrong. In fact, He pursues meto wrap me in His arms.

Today at school during worship I had to sit down. I started to cry again and was hit with the fact that I was sitting in the presence of a Holy God. The manifest presence of a Holy God was in my midst. My hands were on fire. How do I know they were on fire? My body was cold yet my hands were very hot. Words cannot express the impact it had on me to realize that God Almighty was right there with me. Did I mention yet that He is Holy? He is Holy! HE IS HOLY! God you are HOLY!

Here I go again. Yes, I am crying yet again. Every time I think about God since Tuesday I have begun to cry. Get yourself together David. Actually, don't get yourself together, get wrecked by God and never be the same. He is Holy! I got prophetic words today that really hit me. One was at school and the others were at a home group. The one at school was great because it confirmed what is going to happen because of what God is doing in me right now. He is Holy! The words I got tonight are great because they dealt with many of the leadership questions that I have been facing the past few days. God successfully covered everything that I needed.

There have now been several times in the past couple days where God has rocked me. His love is becoming more real every day. His holiness is becoming greater the more I think about Him. Oh God just to be with you! You let me be with you! Do you realize how amazing this is? This is like getting to hang out with the coolest person in the world, anyone you would like, but better, and you can hang out with God as much as you like! I remember thinking how cool it seemed to be hanging out with Bill Johnson, Randy Clark, and the other awesome leaders of the Power Invasion in Brazil last July. I still catch myself thinking that I am special because I got to hang out with cool people. That does not even compare to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ! Thank you Lord for all the people who help mold me, but let me never forget that you are the source and that I must know you above all! You are Holy! God is so good. He is Holy. He is Holy. He is Holy!