Leading Lower

So it has been a few days. I am still alive, but there has been enough things going on that have kept me from sitting down and thinking about what I would write about. Well, I just had a revelation as I was reading The New Mystics here in the Lobby at church while I wait for youth to start. I realized that I am not comfortable leading people who I feel are at least as strong a leader as I am.

I was just thinking about how I don't really like leading small group here at school because I don't feel like I am the clear cut leader of the group. I realized that although I wouldn't want to be leading a small group I am going to need to learn how to lead in situations where I am appointed as the leader but it is not because I am the only leader.

I think a major key for me in life will be my ability to lead in situations where I am surrounded by leaders. I am not trying to say that I need to let everyone know that I am the leader in an arrogant way, but rather that I need to learn how to lead leaders as though it was very natural for me to do. Right now I feel like a fish out of water, but I need to learn to soar like an eagle in the sky.

Last night at home group we watched a video of Heidi Baker preaching her "Lower Still" message at the Brownsville Revival in Pensacola, FL. To be more accurate, I listened to it as I lay on the floor with my face in the ground. Since there is no way for me to capture what she said in this blog, I won't even try. However, I was completely shaken by her humility and the revelation that she walks in due to constantly being in the Presence of God.

Her message wasn't flashy and the average person at the meeting could write her off as a lunatic; however, it is hard to argue with someone who has planted 8,000 churches in a decade, feeds thousands of children every day, sees every deaf ear opened, sees most blind eyes opened, and who has raised the dead. You might not agree with her, but what fruit has been produced in your life?

The message gave me a clear picture of what my life, and the leadership principles I mentioned above, will look like in the years to come. Here is someone with a PhD who preaches often from the floor. For those who have not seen her I mean that she is lying on the floor. It looks like she is a mess, but the truth is that she is a mess for Jesus. Do I have it all together? Nope. Can God still use me? You bet. He moves in the biggest ways through those He has formed deep relationships with and the only way those can be formed are through time and trial.

It was a clear message to me that I must understand who I am and who God is. I must have a deeper understanding of Christ, to really know Him, to be His best friend.

This doesn't make sense to me as I write it, but as I watched and listened I realized that appearing to have it all together is not a requirement in the Kingdom. I probably don't get it now because I need to learn something else about it, but there is something amazing about having one of the biggest leaders in all of Christianity to preach while lying on the floor. She wasn't trying to impress the crowd with a polished message. Instead she spontaneously went where the Spirit led and poured her heart out to God.

This is too big for me to comprehend right now. I am back at the roadblock of a mind that can't produce thoughts that I had last night. However, in that place I felt like I could do more for Christ than when my mind is bogged down with the thoughts of daily life. When Jesus and Him crucified is all that matters you have reached the starting place where God can begin to use you to change the world.