Learning the little things

You know when things just seem to click? Well, that seemed to be happening for me a lot today. I was working on the DVD for my mission trip to La Paz, Mexico and I finally finished it, so look for it in the next few weeks! Then at school I found myself hearing what seemed to be the most important things for me to hear from a staff member who was substituting for the normal teacher of our AMT. Then tonight at home group stuff just seemed to click for me and I realized that I was noticing things without having ever realized that I was noticing them.

Rewind to AMT. Banning Liebscher was our guest speaker. Banning is awesome. He is the youth pastor, but in reality he is more of the visionary for the youth movement and is taking it across the nation and even across the world. He shared about his experience in ministry and how he ended up taking a route that looked nothing like what he had planned. He shared about how we must not abandon things that don't seem to line up with where we are going but we must go through the open doors that God provides for us. Often times we must serve another man's vision for years before God gives us our own ministry that goes towards our vision. Similarly, sometimes we need to do the things that we don't want to do so that we grow in areas that we would not typically grow in. We need to be willing to do the things that are needed and not just the things that we want to do. I cannot tell you how much of what he said I needed to hear and how much it will help me over the next 10+ years! Best AMT of the entire year! It was amazing!

Fast forward to homegroup. People were just chatting about what has been going on recently when one of the leaders starts to talk about how sometimes worship seems dead and other days it is amazing. It just hit me something that I heard probably five years ago at a conference session for worship leaders. As worship leaders we should lead the congregation whether we are on stage or in the audience. We need to be the ones shouting, singing, dancing, clapping, and worshipping! We need to set the atmosphere so that if nothing else, we have entered in for worship, and hopefully others have joined us in the process. I realized that I have been frustrated with people all year for not getting into worship. I felt like sharing that they always seem to need someone to pump up the crowd and tell them to get excited for them to show any emotion. Well, I can be that spark of energy by worshipping! It just hit me that I need to start leading. I don't know why I haven't thought of this earlier, but it finally dawned on me that I need to start leading at school. I may already be leading in some ways, but it hit me that I need to intentionally be a leader.

Another thing that clicked was when another leader started to talk about taking care of your relationship with God. He talked about people in the past who have operated in all kinds of supernatural gifts while at the school but that after they left, they didn't really know the Father and know who they were. They got the gifts for free, but didn't take the time to work on the things that are expensive. I realized that for me earlier in the year I was so concerned with seeing miracles that I was asking for a lot and was seeing it. However, I realized that while I was paying the price to develop a relationship with the Father, I wasn't yet ready for all that would come with ministry. So I have experienced a season of digging a bigger foundation. During this season I have spent very little time pursuing the healings and miracles compared to what I had been during the first few months of school. It clicked with me without even realizing it, that I need to get my relationship with God more solid before I started to see radical healings.

There were other things that clicked as well, but those are the only ones I will bother you with. Hopefully tomorrow I will have the video uploaded onto the web for your viewing pleasure!

Leading Lower

So it has been a few days. I am still alive, but there has been enough things going on that have kept me from sitting down and thinking about what I would write about. Well, I just had a revelation as I was reading The New Mystics here in the Lobby at church while I wait for youth to start. I realized that I am not comfortable leading people who I feel are at least as strong a leader as I am.

I was just thinking about how I don't really like leading small group here at school because I don't feel like I am the clear cut leader of the group. I realized that although I wouldn't want to be leading a small group I am going to need to learn how to lead in situations where I am appointed as the leader but it is not because I am the only leader.

I think a major key for me in life will be my ability to lead in situations where I am surrounded by leaders. I am not trying to say that I need to let everyone know that I am the leader in an arrogant way, but rather that I need to learn how to lead leaders as though it was very natural for me to do. Right now I feel like a fish out of water, but I need to learn to soar like an eagle in the sky.

Last night at home group we watched a video of Heidi Baker preaching her "Lower Still" message at the Brownsville Revival in Pensacola, FL. To be more accurate, I listened to it as I lay on the floor with my face in the ground. Since there is no way for me to capture what she said in this blog, I won't even try. However, I was completely shaken by her humility and the revelation that she walks in due to constantly being in the Presence of God.

Her message wasn't flashy and the average person at the meeting could write her off as a lunatic; however, it is hard to argue with someone who has planted 8,000 churches in a decade, feeds thousands of children every day, sees every deaf ear opened, sees most blind eyes opened, and who has raised the dead. You might not agree with her, but what fruit has been produced in your life?

The message gave me a clear picture of what my life, and the leadership principles I mentioned above, will look like in the years to come. Here is someone with a PhD who preaches often from the floor. For those who have not seen her I mean that she is lying on the floor. It looks like she is a mess, but the truth is that she is a mess for Jesus. Do I have it all together? Nope. Can God still use me? You bet. He moves in the biggest ways through those He has formed deep relationships with and the only way those can be formed are through time and trial.

It was a clear message to me that I must understand who I am and who God is. I must have a deeper understanding of Christ, to really know Him, to be His best friend.

This doesn't make sense to me as I write it, but as I watched and listened I realized that appearing to have it all together is not a requirement in the Kingdom. I probably don't get it now because I need to learn something else about it, but there is something amazing about having one of the biggest leaders in all of Christianity to preach while lying on the floor. She wasn't trying to impress the crowd with a polished message. Instead she spontaneously went where the Spirit led and poured her heart out to God.

This is too big for me to comprehend right now. I am back at the roadblock of a mind that can't produce thoughts that I had last night. However, in that place I felt like I could do more for Christ than when my mind is bogged down with the thoughts of daily life. When Jesus and Him crucified is all that matters you have reached the starting place where God can begin to use you to change the world.