So fun, you won't want to leave

Today has been a great day. God is in a good mood and He is still calls all the shots. Well, apparently Matt decided that after spending a few hours in heaven that he might as well just stick around and chill with Jesus. As much as I would have loved for him to come back, I don't blame him for choosing a place that doesn't have the blazing hot summers that Redding does. It is 80 degrees out right now, which feels hot since a few days ago the high was just below 60, but by July that high will be up around 110-115.

Anyway, even with hot weather God is still amazing! I even pulled out my sunglasses and rolled down my window as I drove from the church to my outreach. Boy do I have a lot to be thankful for. God's timing is perfect too. Twenty four hours before I would be praying for someone who just died God brought me out of a rather pitiful state of depression. Having just dealt with that and coming to the realization that God's presence is more important than anything, praying for the dead to be raised seemed like praying for someone who sneezed.

Yes, I will never be the same since that was the first time I have ever tried to raise the dead, but at the same time I could have easily let the situation discourage me. He died as soon as my shift began. He didn't just die after I prayed for him, he died when I showed up. Rather than entertaining the lie that I killed him by showing up, I prayed and believed that he would rise up!

Think about it. Yeah, I was coming to pray for a guy's healing and he died on my shift. That doesn't sound too good. But that isn't the truth. As Pastor Bill says regarding his father's death, I don't understand it, but I know that God is good and He will redeem the situation. One student, whose father just died a few weeks ago stood up at the funeral and invited people to come forward to receive prayer for healing after saying that he doesn't know why his father died but that he knows that God is good. Come on!

On outreach today we had the kids ask God to show them a picture and then draw it. It was amazing. I wish I had pictures of what these kids drew. One of our guys then led one kid to the Lord after the pictures he drew brought up questions about salvation. Oh Jesus, you are good! I can't wait for the creative miracles to start happening in abundance, the dying to be healed, and the dead to be raised.

Can't say I didn't try

Well, today at school we signed up to pray for one of our fellow students who is dying of cancer. He is around my age, so obviously this cancer isn't right. Well, I felt like I should sign up for the 11 pm shift that would last until 2 am. I then had a feeling in my spirit that he would die while I was there so that we would have to raise him from the dead.

Initially, I also signed up for an 8 am shift that I thought would be a back up in case he hadn't been raised from the dead yet. I ended up giving that shift to someone else who really wanted it.

Well, we get to the house 5 minutes before 11 pm and the previous team tells us what is going on and then packs up to leave. The father also came downstairs to tell us just to pray down there and that he would call us if he needed us. Just a few minutes later we hear the mother yelling for us to come pray, Matt died.

We were trying to give the family space so we just stayed in the area praying in the spirit. After a while of that we left them and went back downstairs to pray. Not too long after that Chris O. showed up and went upstairs with the family. At 1 am Zachary and I went back upstairs to pray for Matt.

I kneeled beside his bed and grabbed his hand like I was giving him a "brother" hand shake and began to pray. I spoke life into his body, prophesied over him, declared promises of God, and commanded him to wake up in Jesus name. An hour and 15 minutes later I got up to let the next team begin to pray for him.

You can't raise the dead if you never pray for any dead people. Well, now I can't say that I haven't tried. God is so good. Not to sound insensitive or rude, but I would have never expected to be smiling and laughing when praying for someone to be raised from the dead. God has given me such a firm reality of his goodness that not even death can stop me from knowing He is good!

Teams will still be praying until the family tells them to stop. So please be praying for Matt to come back to life. I will give updates when I hear the good news.

Running to win!

Although I have never seen the whole movie, there is a scene in Chariots of Fire where there is a race. The character falls down at the beginning and instead of giving up, he gets up and busts his butt running as fast as he can and ends up winning the race. It is crazy because it seems like he was down way to long to be able to make up the difference, but he ran with such determination that it didn't matter. That is what I feel like now.

The past month feels like I have been flat on my face breathing in dust from ground in Mexico. Then tonight after 3 hours of discouragement and me feeling that I was totally wrong in going to homegroup an amazing God-lover found that I had not left and came to chat with me.

Over the course of the next hour she talked me through what I was experiencing and finally said that I need to press in and run hard even though it hurts. That clicked for me. I am used to saying, "only one more mile" or "just one more set" but for whatever reason I had lost sight of that in this season in which God's presence has been lifted from me.

Then I remembered a dream I had back in December about running a marathon. While resting halfway through the race a friend told me that I was on pace to break the world record. My thought was to then run the second half of the race faster than the first half. So when this awesome reminded me that I was doing great and just to keep pressing in, I lit up and said, "yeah, I'm gonna run even harder than before!"

Coincidentally, Pastor Bill told us in the past week that although it isn't really halfway, he considers post-mission week to be the second half of the school year. So I am getting up off the ground and my eyes have the look of a lion about to devour its prey.

Thank you God for sending someone to pick me up and to remind me that this is an answer to my own prayers of, "God take me deeper no matter what it looks like." Thank you Katie for sharing with me your experiences and for reminding me why I'm here.

Fuel for the Furnace

I will attempt to do the impossible this morning. I will attempt to be brief and amazing. I am still wanting to get updates from the La Paz trip, but those will have to wait a little bit.

I just finished reading an article from the Tallahassee newspaper that said that the Easter Seals closed down. They were unable to pay their mortgage, payroll, and other expenses. They had applied for but didn't receive a grant that would have given them $100,000 each year for the next five years.

The first time I went their to work with a client I was scared out of my mind. People were coming up to me, grabbing me, yelling at me and the conditions were just not good. However, it did provide a place for probably 50 adults with disabilities to go 5 days a week to be away from their families.

Unless the two other facilities in Tallahassee somehow decide to drastically expand their enrollment it means that those families will all be faced with the task of caring for their loved one full-time. The other facilities already have a long waiting list to get into them, so the outlook is bleak. God, stretch out your hand to heal developmental disabilities!

Speaking of that, Pastor Bill was crazy good in school yesterday. His main focus was Acts 4:29-30 which says:

"Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus."

His translation read ALL boldness. Yeah, we could use that. I was just thinking recently how nice it would be if I would approach people without having to try to be bold. It would be nice if it was just instinct and that boldness would kick in for the difficult situations.

Speaking of difficult situations, I had a dream yesterday as I was soaking. Essentially it was me watching a bunch of friends in groups of 3 or 4 floating around a safe little harbor in these small wooden boats. I was on land and was weary of them going out even though it seemed harmless. They were packed in them pretty tight because they were small. Then a huge Disney cruise ship came into the harbor for some reason. However rather than getting out of the way they all just stayed.

I was getting nervous at how close they were getting to the cruise ship. One group was literally touching the ship with their hands as it passed by. Then the ship turned and sideswiped another group. Their boat started to get pushed under water and the wood started to break. All I could think was "Emergency tongues!" So I just started to pray in the spirit, but was also thinking that I had to do something and that praying by itself wasn't enough, I would need to go save them.

This is all in a matter of seconds that I think that how can I go in after them when it is a cruise ship. The cruise ship could kill me too! Then, while still on the shore praying in tongues, I woke up.

Last night at Awakening Cry I realized that while it is super important to praying for the lost and dying, we have to actually do something about it. We need the radical boldness to go into the situations that seem impossible. It isn't enough to stand on the shore and pray "God save them, they are drowning!" We must also pray, "God, I'm going in after them and I need your help! Stretch out your hand to do a miracle!"

Yeah. Amen.

Laugh a little

I don't know what has been the problem with me for the past week. Honestly, it has been the most difficult week that I can remember in a few years. It wasn't that travelling to Mexico was tough on me, well maybe it was, but I don't think so. Rather it was tough on me spiritually between me and God. It had already been a tough few weeks and this was easily the worst, which stunk since I was doing ministry in another country.

How can it be bad when I saw so many people get healed? I don't know how to describe it other than just saying that to me it is more important to feel the Father's love than to see His works. I was not feeling His love and therefore anything else that was good didn't seem to matter to me.

It probably didn't hurt that in the midst of me going through this, everyone around me was seeming to have a blast and going to new levels in God while I felt that I had hit rock bottom. I became increasingly frustrated each time someone asked me if I was feeling (discerning) anything as I prayed for someone or went into a situation. I suppose that I was getting frustrated at God, because after our second evening meeting I was so fed up that all I could do on the ride back to our base was cry.

I struggled with so many negative thoughts that I don't have anything to offer that I really didn't even want to minister. I also got stuck playing drums (like real drums, not the djembe), which I have realized that I don't want to do again. Basically I felt inadequate, unwanted, unloved, and like the person that had to do everything that nobody else wanted to do.

Yuck, I don't even want to talk about it. I hate being in a situation where I just want to be alone but I have no place where I can go and be alone. Even the bus ride back to Redding. Even today at school. I didn't really want to be there. I didn't want to hear how other people's trips went, because mine was hard. I didn't want to go up with my team to share testimonies so I just sat behind the group as they tried to stand and got drunk in the process. I was pretty annoyed when I got called up to share a testimony. I just wanted to hide.

Even up to tonight. I nearly just left church to go home and sleep because I was feeling so horrible. As I had unsuccessfully tried to soak I knew that if I could just manage to laugh and really mean it that I would feel better. But I could not just force myself to laugh for some reason. For whatever reason I made myself stay and I ended up reading some in the Bible to get caught up.

It didn't seem like anything that would really encourage me, but the more I read the better I felt. By the time I went to the prayer meeting before youth I was feeling so much better. Still not my normal self, but I felt like I had been raised from the dead. Right before youth started I found my way to the Burning Ones. The youth with the fire that you can feel. They started to laugh, I started to laugh, I felt more like myself again. And now, oh so abruptly, I will go to bed.

The deaf hear, the mute speak, the blind see, and the lame walk!

So I wound up being put on the team that was all people from the worship team for Sunday morning, er afternoon church. So while everyone else loaded up in our vans, we waiting to get picked up by the pastor. We drove into town down some dirt roads, which was odd since the street would look the same as the one next to it minus the pavement, and picked up 3 men. Now there were 10 of us in the van.

We drove some more and stopped on the side of a street. A few got out to go pray for someone and I was told to stay with the van. So four spanish speakers and two english speakers were left in the van with not much to say to each other. So one of the guys pulls out his guitar and starts to play some worship songs. Luckily my fellow english speaker had learned that song in Spanish and so I played the djembe. We then sang it in English, switching back and forth between the languages. It was great.

After probably 30 minutes of worship we were all getting very hot as there was no breeze where we were. Soon after that the rest of our group came back reporting that the son of one of the men we had picked up was healed of asthma in the waiting room of the hospital! From there we went to the gas station and when the pastor said the attendant had pain in her foot we got out to pray and God healed her!

The drive to the church was an hour outside of La Paz. They told us that the people were migrant farm workers. Knowing this I think we all had very low expectations of what the church would be like. I think these expectations were lowered even more based on the dirt road that we drove on for miles. It is one thing to drive on a dirt road in a city. It is a whole different thing to drive on a dirt road in the middle of the desert where you can see no buildings at all.

I was starting to wonder if they would have any power at the church and I didn't even think that the church would be in a town, but rather just on a plot of land somewhere. Well, eventually we start approaching the farm land and it wasn't anything like what I had expected. Other than the desert backdrop, it looked just like anything I had seen back in Florida. Then we approached the town.

It reminded me of hearing stories of people that live on remote islands where groceries and other supplies are shipped in once a week. Even though it was just an hour outside of La Paz, it was remote enough that it probably does face some of the same difficulties as a small island.

They drove us around the town which took just a minute or two but described to us the slave-like conditions of this massive warehouse that provided a garage type home for some 3,000 people. We returned to the church and after quickly setting up their speakers and microphones the service started just after 12:30.

They had me play djembe which was interesting since I didn't know any of the songs and the worship leader didn't speak english. It was an interesting experience to be worshipping God with no fewer than 10-15 mosquitoes flying around you.

After worship they brought up a young boy who has been deaf and mute since birth. We began to pray for him and within a few minutes he responded to us snapping behind his head. So while our group leader preaches and our lone spanish speaker translates, the two girls and I take the boy out of the service to continue praying for him. Over the next half hour or so he begins responding with great frequency to snaps and then begins to speak what the boy who had been healed of asthma says to him.

The smile on the boy's face was priceless. Since it was such a special moment I kept switching between praying for him and getting the miracle on video. Praise God I had a video camera with me! Our greatest moment with him was probably when the young helper sat behind him out of view, spoke and then he spoke what he heard! When we went back to the service we showed the congregation the boy's progress and then went into praying for the people for healing.

I prayed for one of the young men that rode with us and God healed his shoulder. Then I told him to pray for his mother's ankle and God healed it too! Since there were only 2 people other than our team member that knew any english I just went around laying hands on everyone without knowing what was wrong. Others did the same. Our two girls prayed for a woman whose ear opened up. At the end of the service 20 people lined up to share the testimony of what God completely healed. Not bad considering there were probably between 30 and 40 adults there (plus another 40-50 kids).

I did pray extensively for a young girl with club feet who was in a wheelchair. I forget if she had any other problems, but even though I felt an anointing there as I prayed, we saw no improvement. Around 4 in the afternoon church was over and we left to go meet up with the rest of the team that had been at our missionaries' base (different from the base where we stayed). Exhausted, we slept most of the ride back, well, most of the ride after we got back on paved roads.

Once we got back we quickly grabbed some of the left over lunch which was now essentially the time when we normally had dinner. Then we left to go the boardwalk for our evening outreach. They had a worship band that was made up of some of the best worshippers in the city. They were amazing! After a few songs, the local church did a drama, then two people on our team shared testimonies, followed by our team doing the drama. They had no way of playing their music for it so they had me play the djembe and the keyboardist from the band play as well. It actually turned out better than with the CD because I could go with what they were doing and the keyboardist followed me!

Immediately after the drama was over I was introduced to preach. Although there was a crowd gathered I must say that probably all but a few were from the church and most of the ones that weren't were probably being talked to by people on our team. Nevertheless, one man raised his hand saying that he needed healing when I asked but he had been at our meetings all week.

A little while after I was done I went to get back my video camera from one of our guys and on my way I was grabbed by a woman from the church to pray for someone. The woman had partial deafness in both ears and had rhumatory arthritis in her left foot. I prayed for her foot first for maybe 30 seconds and all the pain left! Then I prayed for her ears once and in under a minute she had complete hearing! Glory to God! I tried to ask how deaf she was but they couldn't quite figure it out but just answered that it was pretty bad.

As a group that night our team lead 20 or 22 people to Christ including a police officer and another man who had said that Jesus was bogus. That man apparently had refused a prophetic picture and then after I preached went back to the guy who made it for him and our guy led him to Christ and got him filled with the Holy Spirit!

One of our leaders prayed for a few siblings who had all been cursed by witchdoctors and went blind at age 18. Yo, don't mess around with witchcraft. She started breaking things off of them and leading them through repentance and at least one of them (I forget the whole story now) regained partial sight!

When we were leaving after getting some more ice cream one of our guys stopped to pray for a man on crutches. He had been walking with crutches for the past 6 years due to a knee injury caused from a car accident. After praying for him the man started to walk around so I got out my video camera and got it on tape! Then our guy was asked to pray for a woman with a brain tumor. They were touched and as they left the man gave his crutches to his wife to hold as they walked away!

Women and children

This morning we woke up early again. After a short breakfast we headed out to the church of a man who had done first year the same year as our trip leader Joaquin. We spent some time just playing with the kids for a while and then it was time for lunch even though it was still in the morning. After our team did the drama they took the children outside and left the mother's in the church building (it's roof was palm branches and the walls were tarps).

Eventually it got so hot in there that they took off one of the walls to let a little bit of a breeze in. After the first of our three speakers they saw 5 people get healed with nobody laying hands on them! Then after the final speaker 5 of the women gave their lives to Christ! Our gals then felt that they should wash the feet of the women. So they lined up and all had their feet washed by the girls on our team.

Our Children's ministry did much of the same activities that they had done at the orphanage and had their own healing service as well. When it was time for us to go all of the women and children got together with our team for a photo. It was amazing to see how God had knit our hearts together when we came to serve them in love.

After going to our host church to change we headed out to the beach. Although there are some beaches that are very close to where we were, our hosts took us a little further away to go to a very nice beach that had a view of Holy Spirit Island (yes, you read that correctly, many cities there have religious names as they were founded by Christians and never conquered by foreign militaries...La Paz means "The Peace" and we had stopped for ice cream in Todos Santos, or "All Saints").

The beach was gorgeous. Rather than wearing myself out in the water and out in the sun I just stayed in the shade under one of the little things they had. I have no idea what they are called but are like having a big umbrella but the shade is created again by palm branches. I just sat there and soaked for most of time only stopping to eat some snacks and take a few photos.

We went out to dinner with all of our hosts and afterwards went to get ice cream down by the boardwalk. I must say that their strawberry ice cream is the greatest ice cream of all time! Then before we left the translator who had just given his life to Christ the night before shared with us how moved he was by how we treated the women this morning. He never would have expected us to not only love them how we did, but to also treat them like royalty. The love of God did the trick.

Blowing up the Methodist church

This morning we got to sleep in (relatively) and it was my friend LeAnn's birthday. We had the morning off and team time in the afternoon. I was trying to find some place to be alone and after our pavillion no longer fit that description I hung my towel over my bed from the top bunk to give myself some privacy. I was trying to soak but was just not in a good mood.

When it was time to go to lunch one of the guys came into the room to see what was up. We talked for a while and he was able to explain to me some of what was going on and the reasons why. It was good. I was so thankful that he had come in, since he was actually in the other room. I still wasn't really wanting to be around other people though. You know that feeling when something has happened and then you walk into a crowd and they are all looking at you. Yeah, didn't want to do that.

But I went to lunch anyway as late as we were. After lunch was more team time. Geez. I said I didn't want to be around anyone! :) Luckily my beat up hands did not effect me playing the djembe which I still had to do. Talk about not being in the mood to try to lead others into worship. We went into team soaking time led by one of the gals on our team. That was good. Finally I had some peace. I hadn't had my iPod on the trip because I left my earphones in Atlanta and so I had no way to listen to any music, so getting some soaking music helped ease my nerves.

We went to another taco stand for dinner. This one had beef and chicken, at least until they ran out of chicken. Spending some time talking with LeAnn helped cheer me up and got my focus off of myself. We went to the meeting and I was starting to feel good. I was gonna be on the ministry team (finally) and so I was really getting excited as we prayed as a team. I actually wrote down probably 6 words of knowledge and was ready to see God move!

After worship we moved straight into a healing service. I went to pray for a blind man who had been receiving prayer for a while from another guy on our team. Then I noticed a woman in a wheelchair so I went over to her. Finding someone that could get the interpreting job done I found out that she had polio and that she was pregnant. She had a miscarriage a previous time and so although she can walk, she was in the wheelchair as a precaution.

I began to pray for her and specifically that she would regain strength in her legs. At one point she did report that her legs were feeling stronger but she did not want to get out of the wheelchair. Another time I asked her if she was feeling anything on the outside of her right ankle, pointing to mine and then also to hers, although hers I couldn't touch because of the wheelchair. She reported that she was feeling a sensation on it.

Then she said that she would only like us to pray for her baby, so we did that, declaring life over it and I shared a prophetic word with her from a man in my small group who said I would pray for a pregnant woman. Several hours later, after the meeting was over I found out from another guy on our team that her right leg was wooden from above the knee down. I asked the translator (someone who is from Bethel but is now a missionary there) to verify and she confirmed it. So, I don't know how to explain it, but she was feeling a sensation on her right ankle even though her leg was wooden from above the knee down. Creative miracle? I hope so!

I never got to go up for ministry time after all but did have fun mostly video taping the rest of our team get drunk. One of the translators who was not yet a Christian got saved, baptized in the Holy Spirit and delivered at the meeting! Many miracles happened at this service and the people stayed until almost midnight when we finally left. As we rode back to the base, I started to pray for the people sitting around me and when they started getting whacked I wasn't left out this time! Praise God! I was so thankful to be included this time as just the night before I just watched as everyone else got blasted and had incredible encounters.

Moving dirt from here to there

By today I was really starting to feel horrible. Between seeing others go to new levels and myself not seeming to have any encounters at all, I was getting very frustrated. We woke up early and headed out to the "orphanage" which is the easiest way to describe it even though it was not one.

I worked at digging a hole that would be used to burn trash. Other groups chopped down cactus, painted, picked up trash, or dug a hole for a new outhouse. Starting from scratch we were able to dig an 8 foot by 8 foot hole that was about 3-4 feet deep. It certainly didn't seem like much, but when you consider how fast we tackled it, it would have taken them possibly weeks to dig. They had been constructing a new building that looks far from completion but has been under construction for 2 years. I hope to get the trip video up online sometime soon after I finish editing it and there is some hilarious footage from our work.

After lunch and a much needed rest period in the shade (the temperature was up to just over 100 degrees) we put on a big program for all of the kids. This included a drama, teaching on how to hear from God, soaking, worship, and then at the end some crazy balloons. It was great. I was lucky to escape the several hours of shoveling with only 3 blisters, 1 of which was very painful for a few days but was no longer hurting by the time we came back to Redding.

We went back to our base to shower up and get ready for the evening service. We were going to be doing a worship workshop which I was totally not looking forward to at this point. I did not want to speak at it because frankly I didn't think I should. When I had been on a worship team in the past, my heart in doing it was not right at all. So I felt that I shouldn't be there sharing. So, when the group went to go hold the workshop I stayed seated in the back videotaping the service.

I realized an important lesson (writing this on March 26th) that for someone who is called to ministry the worst thing you can do when you don't feel you have anything to offer in ministry is to go do something else that keeps you from ministering to others. Had I just gone with the group I would have had a great time, but instead I sat in the back of the service holding a video camera thinking of how I have nothing to offer and am stuck as the camera man. The same thing happened for me in doing worship. Not that there is anything wrong with working behind the scenes or being a musician. I just realized that it should be the people who are called to do it and not people who are hiding or being hidden from ministry.

That night I was truly miserable. In praying for people I couldn't discern a thing and it seemed like I didn't have an answer for anyone. A few ladies did get healed of a fallen bladder. I have never even heard of it before and there were two in the same meeting. This was where I was not really caring that people were getting healed, I just wanted to be with God. On the ride back to the base I just sat in the back of the van crying out to God (silently).

Hospitals and worship

Today was pretty busy. After we ate breakfast the worship team met to go over the music we would do that night. As much fun as I think it is to play drums sometimes, I don't know what I was thinking when I volunteered myself to play them on the trip. From that meeting we went straight into a team meeting and from there went out to lunch at a sweet taco stand.

The thing I have noticed about tacos in mexico is that they are nothing like tacos in the states. I never saw a hard taco (tortilla shell) and the soft tacos are much smaller than what we have here. This place had a bunch of different kinds of seafood as the meat for the tacos. I had the shrimp tacos which were great. From there we went to the church where luckily we got to rest for a little bit. It was really hot so I found myself a place on the concrete floor which was a little bit cooler to lay down.

Soon most of us left to go to hospitals while another group went to a Juvenile Hall. One of our translators kept leaving the group so we ended up spending probably 30 minutes just waiting for her to come back. Once we finally got in we went to pray for one of the people they told us to, who happened to be asleep. So we prayed for her while she slept. Then we went to another bed in the room where there was a very old woman who was not doing well at all. We prayed for her and the family members that were with her and then went on.

They had asked guys to only pray for the guys and the women only to pray for the women, so I was eager to find a guy so that I could lay hands on him. We saw a guy with a neck brace on so we went into his room. His mother said that some people had already prayed for him, but we asked if we could pray for him again. So I laid my hands on him and after I was done praying he said that he felt fire on his neck and on his hands. He said that most of the pain was gone, but there was still a little left. So I prayed again and this time his feet also got hot and all the pain left.

We spent more time talking with them and prophecying over them. Then I got a word of knowledge for left ankle pain and it was his mother. After we prayed a few times all the pain left! During this time, our group leader for the hospital was talking with a doctor in the hallway about healing. Haha. He said that we should pray for his patient who was right next to the guy who just got healed. Although his patient only had a few weeks to live, he declined prayer saying that he wanted to sleep. The mother of the guy with the neck injury starts talking to him from across the room telling him that he will get healed, but the guy still wouldn't let us. As we waited to leave, the young man kept looking out into the hallway where we were smiling and giving me a thumbs up! He was ready to leave!

I got back to the church with enough time to eat dinner for about 5 minutes before going in to start practicing before the service. Oh boy. It sure does help when people have played together before. Lol. It went off fine though other than two times when the wrong signal was given so that I didn't know where we were going (and neither did anyone else for that matter).

My buddy Nolan shared a few minutes about yielding to the presence of God. It was amazing. God is all over that guy. After the preaching was over we got back up to play some more as the rest of the team did a fire tunnel. We did a song that we hadn't done earlier which was tough. Luckily we switched over to one we had done that was easier. Praise God that I survived hopefully my last time playing drums during worship.

Does she know there is an angel next to her?

Thankfully after the previous two days of traveling, Joaquin, our trip leader, made it so that we had the morning and afternoon off. It was nice to just be able to rest and relax. I spent a few hours just soaking and thankfully when I went to lunch I no longer was feeling the symptoms of a cold that I had been feeling since I woke up yesterday morning.

We had some team time and did more worship. I now realize again why I was so thankful to not be on the worship team. It is really distracting to me to have to focus on playing an instrument. I think I will again retire from playing during corporate worship times. We did some more drumming like we did last night including a time of declaring freedom from fears. It was hilarious to hear Joaquin ask people as they came forward, “Who are you? Oh, you are an overcomer? I thought I recognized you!”

Tonight was the first night that we went to Pastor Angel’s (pronounced On-hell) church. Little did I know that some pretty cool stuff would break out when there were only maybe a dozen people there when the meeting started. After worship was over and many more people had arrived Joaquin had our other leader Andrea tell a testimony. After stating that it released an anointing for the prophetic, he called me up to share a testimony. I shared the one from back in November when I started to get a lot of words of knowledge and a woman with spina bifida had some significant healing.

Joaquin then stated how a healing anointing was released with that testimony and asked if I had any words of knowledge. I gave one for the left ear. After other words were given we went to pray for people and two members of our team prayed for a woman whose left ear opened up!

When she went up to testify, Joaquin started getting rocked and asked if she knew there was an angel standing next to her. She testified that she had just been declared clinically deaf a week ago but that now she was totally healed! Our host later shared with us that she and her family had been with their church when they first started but had moved away to a very legalistic church until just 3 weeks ago when they heard God tell them to go back. So when they came back they said, “We don’t know why we are here. We were happy where we were at, but God told us to come back.” Obviously God knew what He was doing!

Do you have anything besides Mexican food?

We left the hotel at 5:15 am to go to the airport. Once we boarded the plane a few people started to get toasted by the Holy Ghost. We were sitting together as a group, all in the back of the plane. Even the flight attendants got in on it, commenting over the intercom, “we have a snorter on the plane,” to which we all started laughing even more. After a couple of minutes they made us stop though.

Once we arrived and got through immigration we all piled into two, 15-passenger vans. Luckily our team was only 28 so that with the two drivers we could all squeeze in. We stopped for lunch in a beach town called Cabo San Lucas which was about 30 minutes from the airport in Los Cabos. A little bit later we stopped for ice cream in a town called Todos Santos. Just before getting to our base in La Paz we were pulled over for not stopping at a police barricade. Our driver hadn’t seen the police officer trying to get us to stop and then he didn’t see him on his motorcycle trying to pull us over. Luckily, since the officer didn’t speak English and our driver didn’t speak Spanish we were able to get away without anything happening.

After dinner we had an orientation meeting with our hosts to know how we need to adapt so that we honor their culture. Following that meeting we broke out into some drumming in which people played on the tables and chairs while I led from the Djembe. One of our team members said when we were done that the beat was breaking through and opening up the heavens for people.

On the way to San Jose

After some team worship and drinking time I have finally made it back to the hotel room. We leave six hours from now to go to the airport. The bus ride to San Jose was fun. It was a really old bus with no air conditioning and just a few working windows, so with the temperature around 80 degrees, it was pretty hot. I spent some time soaking and then some time praying with my buddy Nolan. We got whacked pretty good and soon our leaders and then the whole bus was in on it.

We ate dinner at Applebee’s and had to wait 45 minutes outside because they messed up our reservation. No worries though because I got to catch up with my friend LeAnn. She is so encouraging - very much like an older sister even though she is three years younger than me. The food was great except for that our waiter left me with nothing to drink for most of the time we were there. I suppose I should have warned him that I am a heavy drinker.

The worship time was amazing. The team was getting rocked. Afterwards we just laid down on the floor in this room that was part living room and part breakfast area, conveniently located right in view of the elevator. So as we laid there and prayed for each other it was quite amusing to see or hear people’s reactions to us laughing on the ground.

Why revival tarries

"If we were as scared to miss fire baptism as we are to miss water baptism, we would have a flaming Church and another Pentacost."

- Leonard Ravenhill


"Oh! for a heart that is burdened!
Infused with a passion to pray;
Oh! for a stirring within me;
Oh! for His power every day.
Oh! for a heart like my Saviour,
Who, being in an agony, prayed.
Such caring for OTHERS, Lord, give me;
On my heart let burdens be laid.
My Father, I long for this passion,
To pour myself out for the lost-
To lay down my life to save others-
"To pray," whatever the cost.
Lord, teach me, Oh teach me this secret,
I'm hungry this lesson to learn,
This passionate passion for others,
For this, blessed Jesus, I yearn.
Father, this lesson I long for from Thee-
Oh, let Thy Spirit reveal this to me."

- Mary Warburton Booth


Today I read Leonard Ravenhill's book "Why Revival Tarries." If you want to see revival, you should read this book. If it doesn't grip you then you should check your pulse and call a friend to have them raise you from the dead.

A friend from school loaned it to me saying that she thought I should read it. I believe that I got out of it what she was hoping: an increased burning passion to pray and preach the gospel. I am just glad that I decide that I would read it today instead of after missions week.

In a way, the book scared me. I am scared that I could lose the intense passion that so gripped me as I read. It scares me to think that I could forget about something that moved me that much. It scares me to think that I could get too busy to have time to pray and think that I am being more effective in helping people.

Well, here we go, off to Mexico. Many updates will come when I get back. It's revival time!

Testimony: No Work, No Problem!

I met a man in San Diego at the West Coast Prayer Rumble back at the beginning of January. He lives in New York but was in California for surgery. I prayed for him at the Rumble and gave him my contact info. Well, tonight he called me to ask for prayer because he has had severe pain in his head that has kept him out of work since mid January. He said that if he tried to go in he would feel like he was going to pass out after just an hour or two. He has gone to the doctors and they couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him.

After sharing a testimony with him of a man who couldn’t work but then got healed, I commanded the pain to be gone. After I had finished just praying for him in general he reported that his head felt better right when I started. The first thing I did was command the pain to leave in the name of Jesus. When I asked him how much better it felt he said that all of the pain was gone! Hah! Praise God! He heals over the cell phone across time zones!

From the boiler room

"Do you want some rock?"

I could barely make out what the young woman said and I probably wouldn't have known what she was talking about had I not been informed by my hosts of their encounters with people trying to sell them drugs. Her voice was so faint that only the most attentive person would have heard her cry for help. She was desperate - probably needing food.

About four hours earlier I went to meet with our group for lunch even though they were about to leave and I didn't end up eating. As I returned to my car exhausted from the morning I realized that I had parked outside a gay bar. Soon four men would be standing just a few feet from my car smoking cigarettes. They were just trying to fit in - looking for someone who would love them.

I both of these situations I become so aware of the situation that is at hand in San Francisco. I became aware of the utter importance of what our friends and hosts at Justice House of Prayer (JHOP) are doing. They are praying for a city to be transformed. On the street right below their flat on Haight Street you could minister to the homeless, drug dealers, club goers, and homosexuals.

Almost coincidentally, over the next few days I read, "Red Moon Rising" and saw what seemed to be the same situation played out in countries across Europe. I read story after story of radical lovers of Jesus who would pray and then go out among the lowest of society to minister the gospel.

To me, this book felt more like my own story than an assignment. I love just going to pray in the "Boiler Room" just as much as I like getting out on the streets and seeing people get touched by God. It also didn't hurt that I have been given a prophetic word about being like the Moravians.

Now more than ever I see the importance of prayer and loving people. If only my prayer tanks had not just been emptied when I crossed paths with the men outside the gay bar or the woman who wanted to sell me drugs. When the intercessor also becomes an evangelist and the evangelist also becomes an intercessor some amazing fruit truly will be reaped. Now is the time for us to shine, the red moon is rising.

Out of Momentum

Tonight at homegroup I finally had an epiphany of the past week. Everyone was talking about how great things have been since last Thursday when Beni spoke in class. They were saying how they all felt there was a huge shift and things have been much easier since then. Maybe I have my radio tuned into the wrong frequency because although I agree that Beni was great, the days leading up to her speaking and the days following have all been rough for me.

Looking back, it seems as though my peak was the second day of the Eyes and Wings Conference. The last day of the conference I was already trying to feed off of what had happened the previous day. To be honest I wasn't really sure what to make of it.

Looking back even further, it has now been a month since I quit my job at Target, went to Atlanta, and unfortunately have not been praying and soaking much at all. Something in me had said, "you better not stop praying," but at the same time it seemed so much harder to get it into my schedule even though I had an extra 25-30 hours in my week freed up due to not having a job.

Part of my excuse was that I was gone so much. For Atlanta I was gone for 5 days. Then after 4 days back I left for 4 days for the youth Winter Camp. Then I had a day and a half to recooperate before the Eyes and Wings Conference started, which for me lasted 2 extra days since I had friends in town. After 4 days of being mostly normal, I went to our Berkeley outreach in San Francisco for 3 days. I took yesterday to rest, and now was back at school today.

In a way, I can view this experience as valuable training in that I realize the importance of rest, but more importantly my relationship with God is in the midst of ministry. I am trying now to get back into that place of rest with God, spending time soaking and praying, trying to redig the wells that I abandoned for the past month.

Probably the most discouraging thing for me, other than the fact that I felt like I have lost the level of manifestation of His presence that I had been at, was that everyone around me seems like they are on a whole different level than I am in the spirit. I was amazed as I listened to them speak tonight that I didn't have a clue what any of them were talking about and that I had no idea how God was talking to me.

That also was happening a lot in San Francisco this weekend. It seemed like everyone was wearing 3-D glasses except for me. They were all talking about the things they were seeing in the spirit, which were amazing, and I might as well have never known that God speaks to us and can show us things. I wasn't picking up a signal at all while everyone else seemed to be picking up multiple stations at once.

One of the leaders brought up a very interesting point that did at least encourage me some, I think. He said that we already have the authority over things but we just don't understand that we have it. The reason why I don't walk in the breakthrough is because I don't have the faith that I have it. So, it seems to me that in order to see that breakthrough come, I must simply believe that I have it, rather than needing to pray for the next 20 years for God to give it to me.

Another thing that stuck with me is what one of the other leaders said. She mentioned an analogy of seeking after a freshly baked batch of chocolate chip cookies instead of just eating the one chocolate chip cookie that you already have. It is like seeking after a new encounter with God instead of just continually returning to the same encounter that you have been having.

I have found that it is true that the encounter will sustain you for a little while, but after some time, you do need a fresh encounter. Right now, that one encounter that I had been reusing for a week or so has run dry and I am in need of something new. Shoot, right now I would be happy just to have it back again. I feel like I took multiple steps back after only stepping forward for the past several months.

It is kinda like running on a treadmill. When school started I was just barely walking. But slowly the speed started to increase so that in November I was starting to jog, by December I was running and now was quickening the pace just about every day, if not every day. Then, one month ago, when I stopped praying, the treadmill was unplugged and so I was only running off of the momentum that had already been created. When a treadmill is stopped it doesn't take long for the running surface to become an immovable force.

Like a car coasting up a hill, if you have enough speed you can go for a little while, but soon your momentum will stop. Yup, lesson learned. Prayer and soaking was totally sustaining me through my long days and little sleep. Now is a great time to start asking for gifts and to start walking in the authority that God has already given me! Prayer and soaking will be my vehicles of choice for climbing the higher mountain that is next on the horizon.

Indescribable

Disclaimer: This was started on Sunday, March 4 and finished the following day.

So this morning I woke up early to get some time in the word before everyone else woke up. As I was reading I started to imagine driving home this afternoon and talking with my friend Ron who I had met back in December. I was talking to him about forgiving anyone and then I prayed for him. I was driving my car, talking on the phone with him when he starts yelling, "I'm healed! I'm healed! I'm healed!" to which I responded, "Are you kidding me?!" He wasn't. I got so excited that I moved across several lanes of interstate to pull over and get out of my car. I started jumping up and down shouting and praising God.

As those events unfolded I couldn't help but cry. The thought of him being completely healed brought so much joy to my heart. Renewing a life that has been hidden mostly out of view for so long would be one of the most memorable experiences of my life.

While we were breakfast about 15 minutes before we needed to leave for church Ron gave me a call. He sounded worried and told me that his attendant didn't show up so he was stuck in bed. He asked if I would be willing to come help him so after dropping off our people at church, Nolan and I headed out to Berkeley to see him. We got there around 10:20 and found him just where he said he would be, in bed.

After praying for him briefly we started to take care of his daily needs. This is the most personal care I had done ever. Even more than I ever was required to do when I worked with developmentally disabled adults after college. This is also the first time I have done it since God touched me a year ago and opened my eyes to His power and His presence. I was nervous as I have been in a long time as I tried to find all of his medications. The last thing I would want to do is mess up his meds and have something bad happen as a result.

I will spare many of the details for the sake of keeping this readable for anyone, but let's just say we took care of ALL his needs. We missed the entire church service and when our group called to tell us that they were at lunch we knew that we should probably start to get ready to leave.

So we prayed for him again. It was much more powerful this time. Nolan spoke some amazing prophetic words over Ron. I am so thankful that he came with me. He had so much to offer that I would never have gotten or would have been too hesitant to give.

There was an incredible release of God's presence in Ron's apartment. Nolan had Ron say, "I am worth it in Jesus' name." It was obvious when it was difficult for Ron to say it that it struck a chord in his heart. He expressed how he was taught just the opposite - that he wasn't worth it. Even just the revelation of "God is in a good mood and He loves you," really touched his heart.

Nolan also shared what he shared with me as we drove to meet Ron. This was how imagination turns into powerful intercession as we partner with God instead of having intellectual offense. Then I shared with Ron what I had been thinking this morning as I read my Bible and it brought tears to his eyes.

I felt God wanting me to tell Ron to ask for anything that he desires, including complete healing in his body. Again, he expressed how he had been thinking that it wasn't ok for him to ask God for things like that. Such a shift happened during that time. It was so powerful.

We left with Ron going to sleep. As we were taking care of him he talked about how he had worked for the federal government in getting civil rights for people with disabilities. In the late 1980s he had to retire due to his health. Now he is in need of a live-in attendant so that he can stay out of an institution.

Seeing how he has to live gives me even a deeper passion to see people with disabilities healed. It was a fresh reminder of how difficult disabilities can make life be. He is just one of millions that are forgotten or ignored by most of society. God, heal the disabled!

In the big city again

Tonight is our second night staying on Haight Street in San Francisco. It seems like San Francisco is becoming my second home to Redding. I was here three weeks ago, then two weeks before that, and I will also be here next weekend. Thankfully the streets are starting to become familiar and I am starting to learn my way around. Unfortunately, there have been three times today that I have spent at least 30 minutes looking for a parking spot.

Anyway, it has been an amazing trip. The prayer meeting last night was incredible. My hands have never felt quite like they did last night. They were on fire for so long that when we were leaving they felt weird. Weird in a good way. Perhaps I could say they felt like they were dripping with anointing. Maybe not.

This morning we had another meeting with the different campus leaders. In the afternoon we broke up into teams at Berkeley for outreach. I led a treasure hunt team. We only had about an hour because it took me so long to find a parking spot, but God still did some radical things.

Here are some of the things God showed us: Telegraph Ave., "First", problems with the feet, blank piece of paper, communist t-shirt...

So we started off on Telegraph Ave. and at the first street corner one of our guys saw "First" spray painted onto a newspaper stand so we stood over by it. Within a minute I spotted an older woman who was walking slowly. I approached her with one of our girls and then we look at her feet and see them wrapped in bandages. It turns out that she has had 7 surgeries on her feet and the last one the doctors really messed up. She was a Christian and let us pray for her and tell her that God loves her and then she continued on with what she was doing.

We walked down the street and I stopped to pray for a few individuals. At one point I noticed that two of our girls had stopped up the road. So we went back and found them standing next to a blank piece of paper. Soon after we got there one of the guys noticed a man wearing the communist shirt he saw and so he went after him into a restaurant and let him know that God loved him and then prayed for him. Also, a man with a cane stopped right next to us so I prayed for him.

Then a guy came up behind us to try to get us to buy his CD. One of our girls did and then he said, "God bless you." So I started to talk to him more and he ends up asking us to pray for him and so I did. That was a lot of fun.

I had noticed a girl with a cast on her leg earlier and when I saw that she was just at the street corner we went to pray for her. She let us pray and just as I started one of the girls she was with turned her back to me to express her disapproval. Oh well. I should have asked her if she felt anything because I did as I said my 15 second prayer, but I let them go back to their conversation since I had interrupted them.

Next we walked down the street and got into several more conversations with a few street vendors and other pedestrians. We were all having a good time and really getting into it when it was time for us to leave.

When we got back to the JHOP I couldn't find a parking spot for a long time. So I kept driving around until I finally got the best spot right out in front of the building.

Tonight we went to an Indian/Pakistani restaurant for dinner in downtown. We had even more problems trying to find parking. There had been a parade and so there were a ton of people and the restaurant was diagonally across from the Hilton and other major locations. Well, we end up getting a parking spot right across from the Hilton only a few spots down from the restaurant! Talk about favor!

On the way back we drove by a pretty big group of homeless african americans. It really tore me up. To think that they might be living in the very spot that I saw them broke my heart. I can't imagine living like that. The type of evangelism that is on my heart for sweeping through major cities would have to incorporate something special for the homeless. I don't know how, but something has to be done.

Running until your shoes fall apart

A few days ago I felt challenged by a quote that a friend posted in a blog to believe for impossible things each morning when I wake up. The quote is by Lewis Carroll and says, “Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” Although I understand the importance of being in a corporate setting, I began to realize again that I must be willing to go after breakthrough as if I am the only one doing it. I must be willing to run until my shoes fall apart (which they did yesterday!).

So this morning I took it upon myself to believe six impossible things before breakfast. It was a good exercise. A few years ago when I was in a song writing group we wrote down our thoughts each morning when we would wake up as a way of getting the creative juices flowing. It just occurred to me how believing for impossible things is a good way to start dreaming with God! That’s a good word right there!

It is vital that we cut all stinking thinking out of our mind and start thinking what God thinks. How are we going to do the impossible when we quit running the moment conditions aren’t perfect? When I was really into working out, which seems like so long ago, I would run every morning to the gym and work out. It didn’t matter if it was bitterly cold or if it was raining, I would still do it. I realized around this time last year that if I was committed as much to God as I was to keeping my body in top physical shape then I could change the world.

It is time for distractions to get out of the way and to run the race in order to win. If I are running a marathon I am not going to stop running because I am worried about the stock market. Yet I am distracted away from God so easily! Time to lace up the running shoes and get to work!