Finding my focus

Last night I mentioned about a refocus that would take place. Well today it happened without me even trying to do anything. I spent what seemed like an entire day in the prayer house as I have been doing recently but noticed particularly when I went in the afternoon that I wasn't feeling the presence of God and that my mind would shift to praying about anointing and healing very easily. Not that there is something wrong with pressing in for that, but that shouldn't be in lieu of a relationship with the Father.

So when I got home I pulled out a favorite sermon of mine by Bill Johnson that I haven't listened to in a while. It is titled, "Intimacy Before Victory." When I first heard this message it greatly changed the way I thought. It kept me from feeling pressured to "perform" by seeing people get healed. Not that I wouldn't pray for people, but rather I wouldn't beat myself up if something I did not yet have the faith for was not healed. For instance, I had faith that your pain would leave, but not too much that your deaf ear would open. Check this passage from Matthew 17:19-21...

Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?”
So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”

The weird thing is that Jesus didn't go fast or pray right then to make the demon come out, he had already gotten the breakthrough through prayer and fasting before he was faced with this demon. So this had almost become my focus: that God would give me the breakthrough to see every sickness, disease, and disability healed. You may think that I am crazy or overly zealous; let me know if there is ever a time when you or someone you love needs healing and you will be glad I took the time to seek the breakthrough.

However, Pastor Bill mentioned in this message how important it is that our primary focus be worshipping God (it doesn't have to be music) and then hearing feedback from Him about us. Yup, I kinda forgot that. I got a little too much wrapped up in fighting for breakthrough that I forgot that the King wants me to serve his dinner and meet his needs (minister to Him in worship) before He will get me my dinner and make sure I have everything I need.